Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
