Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
