Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There r osticjed everywhere
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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