hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
