I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
