I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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