Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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