i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
