It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
