I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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