hell yes lets make some ravioli
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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