Duck Duck Cougar?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
