if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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