can we get nightvision for the apartment?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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