After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
