Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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