Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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