the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
