escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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