Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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