If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
