Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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