There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
