just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
