I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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