she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
