big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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