Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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