every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
