people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
