why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
