Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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