yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
