Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
