Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
