I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
