who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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