He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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