whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
