u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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