Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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