you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
