Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
