# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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