so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
