I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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