Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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