I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
