But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
