Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
