We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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