I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
