Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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